I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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