i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
