and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
