the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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