I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize