I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
