i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
