his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize