How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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