Your face is a jimmy john
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
