I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
