During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
