i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
