My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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