the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
