I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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