kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
there is puke in my bra ... again
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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