This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
