singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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