i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
