she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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