so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
zippers are such a cool invention
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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