"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I smell stomach acid.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
