My hand turned me down
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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