so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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