Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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