At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
