Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
