that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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