I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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