Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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