I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
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