Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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