He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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