Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
