u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
