does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize