and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
