their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
