yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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