i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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