i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
