Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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