I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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