Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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