There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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