it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
