Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
