it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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