i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize