do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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