If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
