I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
