you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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