STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
