What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
