my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
