People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You are the jesus of drinking
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
