Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
