i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
